Self-Care & How to Survive Stress with the PLEASE Skill (DBT)

Last week was Mental Health Awareness week and the theme was Stress.  I chose to share the PLEASE skill as a way of surviving stress, but it is so much more than that!  The PLEASE skill is a DBT skill which focuses on self-care, and this is incredibly important, because we so often forget or overlook the importance of this.  In many ways, we often mistake self-care for indulgence and start to feel like our needs are unimportant as long as everyone else is okay.  This is where the masks on an aeroplane analogy comes in; putting your mask on first keeps you fit to help everyone else, if this is what matters to you.

So here is the PLEASE skill, which focuses on ways of keeping yourself physically and emotionally well.  If you or someone you care about is having a really bad time or is in crisis, these are the basics.

PL - Treat Physical Illness

We are all guilty of ignoring illness or letting ourselves get run down.  Maybe we think we've had too many sick days recently.  Maybe we think it's just a sniffle and it'll pass.  Maybe we have too much to do to be ill, or just can't face the faff of a long wait at the doctor's, if we can even get an appointment to begin with.  Being physically unwell has an influence on our mental health, leaving us feeling tired, run-down, and more vulnerable to emotions.  Moreover, if we ignore our body's protests we can end up more ill or injured.  It is important that we take time to let ourselves recover, seek medical attention if it is needed, and finish that course of antibiotics as prescribed to give ourselves the best shot.

E - Exercise

Some of us love exercise, and can't beat the high we get from achieving a personal best when running, learning a new yoga position, or scoring the winning goal in a football match.  Others can think of nothing worse.  Exercise might not be one of your hobbies, but it is important, so start small if need be.  Get off of the bus a few stops early and walk the rest of the way.  Climb the stairs instead of getting in the lift.  Ride your bike at the weekend.  Follow a Youtube video in the privacy of your own living room, or head to the gym with a friend to try a class.  Try to do around 20 minutes of exercise per day, and over time, see if you can increase to 30 minutes of exercise that increases your heart rate, five times per week. Feeling stronger and fitter can also boost your confidence which can do wonders for your mental health.  

***As always, this might be one to avoid if exercise is associated with an Eating Disorder or unhealthy coping behaviour for you.***

A - Avoid Mood-Altering Drugs

This might not be the most popular form of self-care, but alcohol and illicit substances are unlikely to be helpful when you are not feeling your best.  Alcohol is a depressant, and is unlikely to improve your mood in the long-term, whilst regulating your mood is more difficult when intoxicated.  We can also easily become dependent on substances to help us avoid our feelings, which will ultimately prevent us from changing our circumstances and overcoming our difficulties.  Self-care might involve facing our emotions and difficulties face on rather than numbing ourselves to them.



S - Balance Sleep

Sleep is incredibly important to our emotional and physical health.  Adequate rest will allow our bodies to recover from physical injuries and illness, and optimise our ability to think and focus.  Being tired can severely impact our motivation and leave us feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope.  Try to set yourself a regular bedtime and develop a routine.  Don't watch television in bed, avoid using your phone, and aim for 7-8 hours of sleep per night.

E - Balance Eating

Last, but by no means least, eat adequately.  Avoid under-eating, as under-fuelled bodies and brains are far from effective.  Try to eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables, but also fats and carbohydrates.  Everything in moderation.  Notice whether you are using food as a way of coping with your emotions, and if so, which feelings you are trying to suppress or escape from.  Try eating mindfully, focusing on tastes, smells, and textures as you eat, looking at what is on your plate, and noticing any sounds (if you can bear to!).

The PLEASE skill is the foundation on which you can build other things.  It is putting your mask on first and ensuring you are fit to care for others, as well as acknowledging that you deserve care and nurturing (YOU DO.).

Take good care of yourself.

The Bear xXx