These core needs include:
- Safety
- (Age appropriate) Autonomy and self-expression
- Food and shelter
- Empathy and attachment
- Parent-child communication and play
- Clear rules and limits
- Parents who can manage their own frustrations
Nobody is perfect, and these needs are unlikely to be met 100% of the time; however the less they are met, the worse the consequences. For example, a child whose parents are very busy one week and unable to spend time playing with them may be hurt and upset by this, but if their parents make time for them the following week no lasting damage should result. However, for a child whose parents never spend any time communicating with them, the effects may be more severe and long-lasting.
A child whose parents never play with or talk to them is unlikely to have sufficient opportunities to learn. They may find it difficult to understand other minds, to develop language, and to reach the appropriate academic level. Over time, the child may become acutely aware of their difficulties, with consequences for their self-esteem. They may struggle at school, find it difficult to express their needs, and have problems making friends.
Children are very dependent on their families for both physical and emotional safety. Parenting therefore involves teaching children to recognise danger, and minimising potential hazards in their environment. It is inevitable that children will hurt themselves at some point in their lives (e.g. scrapes and bruises), especially as they explore the world and learn what they can and cannot do. Parents cannot reasonably watch their children 24-hours-per-day and accidents (including broken bones or cuts needing stitches) may happen. They may also be hurt emotionally, for example, by an untrustworthy 'friend'. However, "good enough" parenting seeks to ensure damage is kept to a minimum and a child who has been hurt is protected from further harm.
Although a lack of food and shelter are certainly associated with physical consequences for a child, they may also result in emotional problems. Being homeless can be an extremely stressful experience for all involved, and stressed, anxious parents may not have the resources to sensitively parent their children. They may be socially isolated and thus unable to draw on the support of a social network, and may struggle to keep their child safe, warm, and fed. This experience of adversity may have a lasting impact on a child's development.
Feeling loved, understood, and validated is key to a child establishing a sense of their value and self-worth, and children with insecure attachment types, or those whose parents do not empathise with them are at greater risk of emotional difficulties.
Accepting a child and empathising with their feelings and experiences does not mean letting them do as they please, however! Children need clear rules and limits in order to safely explore their environment, and to learn to conduct themselves in a way which is socially acceptable, and which will enable them to function as part of society as they grow up. Although they may rebel against them, children come to understand that parents set rules because they care about them and the person they will become.
Effective rules and limits are consistent, clear, and developmentally appropriate. A child who does not understand the rules may become anxious, frustrated, or distressed when they are punished for doing what they thought was expected of them.
Effective rules and limits are consistent, clear, and developmentally appropriate. A child who does not understand the rules may become anxious, frustrated, or distressed when they are punished for doing what they thought was expected of them.
Sometimes, if a family is very close, or has very strict rules, there may be limited opportunities for a child to develop a sense of who they are, and confidence in doing things independently. In order to thrive, they must have the chance to try things for themselves, and to pursue their own interests. In very close families where children spend all of their time with their parents and siblings, separation anxiety may arise, whereby a child becomes distressed when away from the family, preferring not to socialise with others, and experiencing physical symptoms such as stomach aches when even a temporary separation is anticipated.
Parenting is not an easy job, and when combined with other stressors, parents may struggle. It is crucial, however, that they manage their own frustrations so as to protect their children from the impact of this. A parent who does not effectively manage their frustration may be neglectful, emotionally or psychologically abusive, or even physically abusive towards their child, all with lasting consequences for the relationship and the child's well-being. It is therefore vital that struggling parents seek help, be it from friends and family, their GP, or the appropriate health service.
If core childhood needs are consistently unmet, a child is at increased risk of mental health problems, both now, and later in life.
PROTECTIVE FACTORS
As afore mentioned, nobody is perfect, and children's needs will not always be met perfectly, 100% of the time. How this impacts a child, and the likelihood of them developing a mental illness when one or more of their needs are not met over a longer period may depend on the balance of protective and risk factors in their lives.
Let's look at an example of a child with lots of protective factors which will minimise the chances of her developing a mental illness.
This is Olivia.
This is Olivia.
Olivia has a lot of personal, protective factors. These are things specific to her, rather than her environment. Olivia appears to be a naturally optimistic child with an easy temperament, and a tendency to recognise her own achievements. There's no real history of mental illness in her immediate family, and the pregnancy and her birth went well with no complications. Olivia has never been seriously ill or suffered any severe injuries. She has learned healthy coping mechanisms (for example, seeking help when distressed) as a result of her secure attachment/s.
One of Olivia's mums was securely attached as a child. Her other mother was not, but has worked through her issues and resolved them so she too is able to provide a secure attachment figure to Olivia. Both parents have healthy coping mechanisms and good self-esteem, and have accurate expectations of Olivia, based on her development and personality.
Olivia's parents are not afraid to seek help and advice from other agencies to ensure Olivia's needs are met. They engage positively with her teachers and any doctors she comes into contact with, and are committed to helping her in any way they can.
Olivia's little brother, Jasper, is now in day care, just like Olivia was before she started pre-school. The day care is of a high quality with a low infant to staff ratio, which ensures the staff are able to be responsive to the children's needs. It is safe, spacious, and well-equipped to meet the needs of little ones. When Olivia was in day care she had a secure attachment to staff there.When Olivia later went to pre-school she learned to start to take some responsibility for herself, for example by putting her coat on her peg, or by helping to tidy up after herself. This helped her develop confidence and age-appropriate independence.
Now Olivia is in primary school. Her school takes an authoritative approach, expecting high standards but offering a lot of emotional support to the children. There are clear rules and expectations, and plenty of role models for good behaviour. Olivia gets lots of feedback about her work, and is rewarded for her effort and achievements.
Because Olivia has a good relationship with her parents, has learned healthy coping strategies, and knows how to behave appropriately, she has been able to make friends at school. Olivia feels a sense of belonging and like she is valued by her friends, which boosts her self-esteem.
Olivia's experiences at home and in the wider world are teaching her that she is a valuable individual who people like to spend time with. She is confident that someone will help if she needs it, and that she is safe and loved. These messages have boosted her self-esteem, confidence, and independence and reduce (though by no means eliminate) the risk of Olivia developing mental health problems in later life.
In Part 2, we will think about the risk factors which increase the chances of developing mental health problems in childhood or later life.
The Bear xXx
